FINDING A GROOVE IN DAILY ACTIVITIES

Someone reminded me that they are looking regularly at this blog to find out how both Betty and I are doing. My original intention was to post all the news here every week so folk could do just that. Now, after several weeks, I find I am not being regular about that plan. I guess it’s because the days are all running together and seem so much the same. It’s as though time has become like a cheap telescope. In one end things seem closer; in the other things appear further away. Time is doing that now: it is passing much more quickly than ever before and it is also dragging out to unbelievable lengths. I’m learning that it is harder than ever before to make and maintain a deliberate schedule since there are so many unpredictable variables in the equation.

It’s a strange combination of things we love and stuff we don’t that complicates the planning. For example, we have no love for the unpredictable bouts of nausea or for the emesis which sometimes accompanies them. I’m growing spooky about the multitude of phone calls, often back-to-back, which seem to interrupt so many hands-on tasks. I know that irritation is due more to the volume of unsolicited solicitors and mundane business callers we receive than to the calls of family and friends calling to check in or check up. We always appreciate the contact of loved ones whenever it comes. These are the highlights of each day. One friend of over fifty years called Wednesday and together we delighted in recalling shared activities over the years and reminded one another of the many ways we had worked together in the Lord’s various ministries. The love expressed in that one contact will buoy us up for many days to come. Such calls are a balm to our weary spirits.

As for Betty’s condition, we are dependant upon Hospice Nurse Cathey for her regular calls and visits and for her current success in minimizing the impact of pain and nausea due to the bone cancer. The non-narcotic medication to which we have switched seems to be doing the desired job while not contributing to other unpleasant side effects. The spacing of the tummy soothing pills by type and strength is a small miracle of applied modern pharmaceuticals. Betty has been able to attend Sunday Morning Worship Assemblies each week and was strong enough to enjoy lunch at a favorite restaurant last week. Wednesday afternoon, Patty suggested a drive in the countryside to view the changing fall colors on what might be the last sunny day for a while, and we did see some brilliant reds, yellows, oranges, and variegated “rust” hues. That was a joyful drive. As always, the gathering of our mid-week home Bible Study group was a support and a comfort. It’s been nice to be able to reclaim some of these activities.

In recent weeks a new routine of daily activities has developed. Collectively we have about a dozen times a day to take pills, so we try to condense that schedule by letting the times slide until they overlap. I’m learning the peculiar habits of the vacuum cleaner, have nearly grasped the basic settings on the clothes washers and dryers and on the dishwasher. I’m pretty good at dividing the dirty linens and clothes into “dark and light” now. I’m still pulling together schedules for when to sweep, mop, scrub toilets, and (shudder) dust, but all of these are becoming more familiar each week. Of great help have been the kids and a few friends who tend to act like family and just take up a task like it was their personal assignment. I’m grateful for the help and for the time saved toward other jobs on the list. Apparently, when the regular house keeper can’t do it all, it takes a small community to replace her. I have a much deeper appreciation of what Betty has been quietly accomplishing around our place over nearly forty-eight years.

The doctors do not have any way to treat Betty’s cancer in terms of cure because of her decision to avoid chemo and similar harsh therapies, but she is accepting a monthly infusion of a medication that helps fix the remaining calcium in her bones. This is given with the hope of retaining as much bone strength as possible to minimize the chance of fractures and breaks that might accelerate the pain or affect her mobility. This choice is compatible with the goals of Hospice which are primarily to manage daily living as free of pain, discomfort or disability as possible. Currently Betty can get around in the house with her walker and is able to do small projects or enjoy the puzzles often set out, tinker with her laptop, watch TV and DVDs, and get to and from her frequent naps. As always, she looks forward to the daily mail and the several cards and love note she steadily receives. In that sense, every day is like Christmas morning. We are both enjoying the attention of caring friends and letting the glory of our blessings reflect upon the Benevolent and Beneficent God whom we are trying to serve even in these circumstances.