SOWING THE SEEDS OF FRIENDSHIPS

Over the years we have been fortunate to form many close and interesting friendships. Wherever we have lived our lives have become entwined with others who became like family to us. Their activities and interests and achievements were interesting and important to us and their families and ours often shared meaningful events together. The roster of these friends include married couples near our own age, many single individuals, older couples who sometimes served as surrogate parents, children who grew into adult friends, and even some of our own relatives became part of the mix.
Naturally we were most often attracted to others our own age. They may have been friends from work, or folk with similar hobbies and pursuits, but usually they were just other couples like us from where we attended church. Just after our move to Alaska, for example, we were part of a group of six or seven young marrieds who spent most of our free time together in outdoor recreation or in one another’s homes for meals and games, as well as sharing in church related activities. Over the years, especially after kids came along, the nature of these relationships evolved, but the mutual support and affection endured even as our lives changed considerably.
At times we were mentored by those senior to us, and we deeply enjoyed and needed the time spent in such mature company. We watched and learned from these mature Christian examples who helped us grow more able to manage our own marriage skills. Sometimes, however, we fell into the role of counselors to younger folk who entered marriage after we had established the friendship. This latter opportunity to lend encouragement and support and to serve as a living example to newlyweds we always took as a serious responsibility.
The closeness we developed with several young, single individuals were precious indeed and most of the friendships based upon these “virtual adoptions” continue today. We seemed to gather more unmarried young ladies (daughters) than fellas, but all of them just needed some “family” to gather them in and show them some love and attention. Over time some of them did marry and we were able to include a new son or daughter into the fold. In fact, while we were collecting college aged friends one of the couples was married in our back yard. The groom in this fine couple grew up with our own kids in Alaska so he also serves as an example of children we once knew who later became adult friends.
SATTST – “Said All That To Say This”. We are finding a great deal of truth in Bible verses we have learned over the years but which we had not entirely experienced before. In the midst of much other wisdom, Ecclesiastes 11:1 tells us (and I paraphrase) “if we cast our bread upon the waters, it will someday come back to bless us when we need it.” In this sense, all the efforts we have made in forming and protecting strong, faith-based friendships are coming back to us now in the love and encouragement and uplifting prayers and visitations of loved ones who are not only beloved in the present, but those cherished friends of yesteryear also. I n terms of developing a personal network of kindred friends of like spirit, the ongoing and eventual rewards more than repay the effort and care invested. Whether you pay it now, or pay it back, or even pay it forward, in terms of making and nurturing friends, I can not believe you are will not be deeply and frequently blesses at some point.
Today a man and his wife whom we love dearly came to visit and to pay their respects to Betty. Almost four decades ago this gentle and remarkable lady came from her native India to live in Juneau. This friendship – especially between the ladies – was close and tender and vital. For over six years we prayed that her husband would be able to come also, and eventually that came about. Now they have raised their children, completed their careers and retired. Knowing about Betty’s situation, today they made a lengthy drive to sit with her and demonstrate their love and concern. The beautiful visit today was a gracious bookend to when we supported their immigration long ago. Indeed, we unexpectedly received back a blessing we had offered to them so many ago. That verse in Ecclesiastes is right on!
On Wednesday, after we had waited for several days, a technician brought a portable X-ray machine to our house, and without requiring Betty to get out of bed, took five films, including a pair of each hip and one of the pelvic area. Fortunately, there are no breaks or hairline fractures, so that fear has been overcome (and probably through the host of prayers many of you were offering). What was discovered is that she has a case of “aggravated osteo-arthritis”. Basically, something – perhaps her fall, but maybe due to the aggressive cancer or changes in diet or medication (or weather or politics or Northern Lights, or the price of tea in Southeast Asia, or…, or…, or… ) – something has caused this condition to flare up and cause considerable pain and discomfort. Slight adjustments in medications and other accommodations in daily care are helping us back to the current normal. Clearly, we are on a dangerous, slippery slope and we notice that Betty does not recover fully from each event she experiences. Now we are beginning to see occasional mild signs of confusion or disorientation, and we fear that is among the challenges on the horizon
Let me close by mentioning again the many thoughtful, meaningful, and detailed comments some of you have left on this blog. Because of the intimate nature of some of these personal remarks, I did decide to not post them. All were appreciated, but some have just been too personal to share in this format. I understand your hearts and how you want to reach out to Betty and me, but this is a time to honor Betty and encourage her with the cards and letters and personal news about yourself that she so enjoys. Please drop her a note and remind her of good times and happy events we have shared. It will make her day lighter.