BALANCING THE ROUTINE WITH THE SUBLIME

While much of the time passes quickly, it seems many days are quite a bit the same. We have a set of routines that frame our days into the morning activities, and afternoons, and evenings. When we both are awake and up, I try to help my brain to awaken by reading the local newspaper; sadly, I can’t always find enough interesting material to do the job, but just getting it from the porch area and bringing it to the table and fixing a cup of tea, and going through the motions is a beginning of sorts. Meanwhile, Betty usually rises and dresses and we discuss what (if anything) she thinks she could accept (and retain) for her breakfast; it could be egg and toast, Cream of Wheat, a personally tailored smoothie, or some other possibility. After I fix whatever it is, I usually tidy up the bedroom by making the bed, putting away clothing and other items from the previous day and night, and prepare the first of her doses of pills for the day. Then the game becomes, will the food and pills “keep” long enough to do her some medical and nutritional good. Recently the score has averaged about 50/50.

The rest of Betty’s morning may include some on-line checks of real e-mail and sorting through the junk mail for good stuff that was misclassified. She spends some of the mornings sorting and re-reading her many cards and lots of love, encouragement and she punctuates the morning with napping. I generally use that time to tidy up around the house and getting things back in their places. When the mid-day begins, it’s another round of trying to guess what snack or mini-meal might settle in and not end up in a pink plastic tub. If there is a jig-saw puzzle spread out, we might work a bit on it until the next nap calls. We try to time things around the pill schedule, but often have to be a little flexible since some of the day’s problems pay no attention to clocks and schedules. When the afternoon nap is underway, I have been dividing my days between reading and just succumbing to the siesta myself. A cozy blanket and a bit of quiet and an hour pressing my pillow are becoming more frequent and more appreciated as the days slowly pass by. Some days we spend a portion of this naptime just cuddling and talking and that’s some of our most precious time together. Other special times are when Patty and/or her girls stop by almost every day to check on us.

The evenings are mostly alike, and usually contain evening meals, if any, and medications, and (depending on the day) a little television. We work our way through the favorite news programming for a couple of hours before “Jeopardy” comes on at 7:00, after which we selectively watch whatever we favor and talk and reflect on the day and the phone calls and on upcoming plans. This weekend David comes with his girls (late Friday through Monday), Betty’s sister-in-law and her two kids are driving up from central California to spend at least Sunday with us, and Geoffrey arrives sometime Sunday to spend another week helping to spoil “The Mom”. When Edwin and the girls join us we will have a house-load of thirteen visiting and sharing the entertainment. Should be a fine time. [ BTW: Patty is in Texas for a job related, church—planting staff meeting, and Paige is in Phoenix running a half-marathon.]

One ongoing experience we have been enjoying fairly frequently has been the face-to-face visits of friends from present and past. We have had several couples we knew in various places in Alaska make special efforts to come to Vancouver and check on us, often bringing gifts and always packing wonderful shared memories. Individuals who have touched our lives in widely varying ways have come to spend time expressing their love and concerns. One couple was even married in our back yard – years ago, of course. Friends of our kids, now friends of ours, have planned special trips from their distant homes to ours just to bring encouragement and their personal expressions of concern. In addition to our own kids (both the local crew and those who live elsewhere) we have appreciated our grandsons’ other grandmother who always brings an aura of joy and delight with her. Many of the members of the congregation we have attended here for twenty-four years have dropped by to express their love and share their prayers. Many times they have brought meals or thoughtful little gifts that have lifted our spirits. And more often that I could count, the folk in our mid-week home Bible Study group have filled in serving as “babysitters” and pitching in with domestic chores to make the work-load around here lighter and less onerous. These are hearts and hands of love which are eager to return the blessings they have received from Betty over the years in small but useful acts of caring and sharing. Believe me, their thoughts and efforts are deeply appreciated.

The routines described earlier are easily forgotten and o’er shadowed by the visitation of good and Godly people who have taken the time to be a part of our recent journey. These thoughtful contacts have indeed lightened our days and given us much to reflect upon and cherish. We are continuing to work these visits into our schedule, although as Betty needs more rest and suffers increasing bouts of “nausea” and all that brings, we do appreciate folk calling ahead to check for suggestions as to the more appropriate times to stop by. As long as we are able we hope to continue to be nourished and sustained by the outpouring of love from friends from all the eras of our marriage and travels. Y’all Come, Hear?