BRIEFLY, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED

Hello, again. It seems like a long time since I placed an entry here to update the continuing and swirling drama in which I have been caught up in recent months.

In the hectic and accelerating rush of Betty’s last days, I believe I must have been a personal fog of denial concerning my own situation, for every time I moved her from bed to easy chair or commode or back, I was experiencing considerable discomfort, to the point of being virtually unable to breathe for several minutes. This situation had first made itself apparent last year – maybe around Thanksgiving. During a quick walk to the mailbox, perhaps a thousand feet down the street, I became so short of breath that I was doubled over for a few minutes. Still I recovered quickly and it did not reoccur for a long time. Since there was no arm pain, no jaw pain, and no feeling that led me to worry about my heart, I just denied it as Betty’s needs increased. It was well into February that I began to have some concern because the problem had become so severe, but I still was not prepared for the diagnosis.

In late February, my primary physician scheduled me to take a stress test after hearing my description of the “shortness of breath” episodes. Of course the first available appointment was six weeks out, but after a few calls requesting the chance to snag a cancellation, I finally had the treadmill and echocardiogram tests on Friday the 16th. That alarmed the first doctor! Within minutes of leaving his office, I was sharply rear-ended as I was on the way to see my lawyer folk, and naturally that added to my condition. Early Monday morning, after securing the change in legal papers that Betty’s passing required – will, durable power of attorney with health care provision, etc. - I checked in for angiography. I was moved to the head of the line and made to sit down, and the paperwork swiftly done, I was quickly escorted to the prep area. With no delay I was soon rolled away to the heart catherization lab. The necessary tubes were inserted into my wrists and fed into my heart. I was lightly sedated and did not feel any of this initial probing, but when the dye was injected into my heart and revealed the state of blood flow there, I did hear several of the doctors and technicians gasp out loud. That alarmed the second cardiologist and his team - and me. That was the moment I decided that maybe something was wrong.

Now from this point on, my memory may be based more on what I heard later than upon what I actually heard and remembered myself at the time. I had a major artery badly blocked, a second with a 95-99% occlusion, and a third artery where the red blood cells were lining up single file to pass through. In short, I was not only a candidate for a surgical heart repair, but urgency was a major factor. Family and dear friends gathered to lend support, the surgeon explained the problem and the solution he could offer, and by early morning, I had three bypasses, one to each of the arteries which held a blockage.

For the sake of brevity at this point, let me say I don’t recall all of the five days I remained in ICU or in the recovery ward, except for the remarkable skill and patience of the nursing staff in caring for my every need. I am deeply grateful for the teams of caregivers which came and went and pampered me while beginning my conversion to a healthier and more moderate life-style.
Explanations were given, and instructions, and all sorts of hints and rules about resuming life at home and on Saturday the 24th, just five days after having been cracked open and fixed, I was allowed to go home. Someone said that made me a “five-percenter” since only 5% of open heart surgery patients are allowed only a five day stay; for most it is seven days or more.

Heart-wise, I seem to be doing well. OF course there is considerable pain, but the medications and “the pillow” seem to handle most of that OK. Some of my pain relates to the actual surgery with a wide variety of aches and pangs associated with the site and with associated wires and tubing which has now been removed. Much of my pain turns out to be related the rear-end collision which happened prior to surgery, and which causes my back to ache mightily right between my shoulder blades. A subsequent visit to my primary doctor, and a prescription for a muscle relaxant has mostly handled that problem for now, and since last Saturday night, I have been able to sleep through most of the night. Oh, about the pillow: Once they pry open your rib cage, there is nothing to keep it together until you heal up completely. The “pillow” gives you something firm to clutch to the chest with arms crossed over, each to the other side, which forms a sort of “splint” for the vulnerable area when coughs or sneezes attack. In that sense and usage, my “pillow” is my best friend, and I keep it close at hand.

During the past month, I have learned and reaffirmed a host of truths about the place and value of prayer in my own life. I confess that in the last month of Betty’s struggle our prayers together had become halted and mine had felt so empty and meaningless as communication and focus for both of us was so severely impacted by her pain and condition and physical needs. More than ever I have been reminded that the power and comfort of prayer lies not in the one who prays, nor in the words used (however eloquent or stumbling), but in the Lord God who answers the prayers and provides the spiritual support and physical miracles of healing. My serenity in prayer is based upon knowing once again that He is my caring God, and that He hears the intent of my petitions and praises, and thanksgivings. And comfort comes too from knowing that many others – family, virtual family, friends, and strangers – have offered up their hearts in behalf of mine, and that the Lord counts and credits every prayer with the same degree of affection and value.
He blesses the one who prays, the prayer offered, and most divinely blesses His own response to each. Thank you to every individual who was a part of this month of prayers and the joy those prayer have brought to me.