SOMETHING IS MISSING!

Why can't I put my finger on the cause of this phenomenon?

The more I straighten up the garage, attic, closet, bookshelves, war drawer, van trunk, or whatever, the more the stuff seems to disorganize itself. Put in an hour rearranging, sorting, and even minimizing a household subcollection - shoes, canned goods, books, whatever - and the next time or two a search begins for a certain something, it has gone missing and a jumble of mixed items has seized its proper location.

Winter is tough enough anyway. With cold claiming the bonus room and the garage, little lasting progress occurs there between November and March anyway. I have generally accepted that trolls or some sort of irksome force will have rearranged those repositories during the dark months. But how do my sock drawers and desk areas and easy-chair side table and personal knick-nacks in warmer climes become so disorganized? And why?

Does anyone else live with the absolute certainty of where "it" is (and belongs) and the bafflement of finding that spot occupied with something else? Rarely is "that spot" empty. Oh, No! A foreign object will be smugly perched there, or nearby items will have migrated together eliminating that exact spot where I knew the missing item can always be found. And I'll look there a dozen times more, knowing every time that it isn't where it should be, but hardly believing such an anomoly is possible.

The most powerful DNA I have inherited demands that I know exactly where every single minute item I own belongs and that it is properly placed in its own niche (and stays there). It should be instantly available the next time I want it because it is always faithfully in its rightful assigned location. Disruption to this basic law initiates lengthy searches and reorganization campaigns and enlisting the family troops until the item is rediscovered, and correctly replaced, and the horrible rent in the fabric of the universe is repaired.

By now you understand that living with any cognizant awareness of misplacement is intolerable. Order demands correction and restitution (and sometimes retribution) at several levels above a simple "lick and a promise". It is a never ending task beginning at at any hour of the clock and it can not be postponed; until the errant item is recovered or its delinquincy is adaquately explained, the hunt must continue. Think of it this way. Recall the feeling you may experience when your keys, or checkbook, or credit card, or purse, or wallet are missing. I mean really, really unfindably GONE!! Yes! It's a Feeling like That! For Everything! (Are you thinking he's O-C?? You Betcha I am!!)

And now at my age, a new wrinkle is being added. In the midst of a search, distractions interrupt, rabbits intervene, divergance happens, and the focus of the dragnet becomes fogged .

What was I looking for? Oh, yeah.